Is it because he is unique; Gifted , special. Or is it simply his disgrace; his absolute failure at being normal. Everything hinges on this one question. Who then will provide the answer and more importantly when. And then comes an even more alarming concern; will he provide the answer.
Will he fumble presenting his answers to God; or will his God be answerable to whatever heavens that lie above Him.
(Sample paper: Questions may vary during the final examination)
Answer the following questions (objective types): Max time 5 minutes. No cutting allowed. Answers to be filled with permanent ink.
- Is Mr __ good or bad?
- Is Mr __ brave to follow a new path or a coward who ran away from minor challenges that the entire world faces so solemnly?
- Is Mr__ strong-willed or a stubborn idiot?
- Which emotion do you feel for Mr__? (you can pick more than one)
a) pity
b) proud
c) disgust
d) anger
e) irrelevance
And the wait. Oh! The agony of an uncertain wait. And what use is any of this if the results are not in favor. Is the life worth living at all then? What if he keeps on trying only to be told at the fag end that he failed? What then? Hell, there cannot be a retest either. Can’t anyone even drop a bloody hint? The maddening excruciating numbing wait.
Lethargy lurks in. What’s the point? Just lie down. There is no goal. There is no meaning. There is no hurry. Be still, relax. Yet relaxed, he does not feel. He feels sad. Unexplained melancholy swirls around, devouring him slowly.
It would have been another story if he would have chosen a pious path. That would have been a normal abnormality. His pains would have then become sacrifices. There is a well-defined path laid out for this abnormality. A positive results is almost a certainty no matter how screwed up his life would have been.But that he is not. He is as selfish as any normal person.
His abnormality rises from the fact that he keeps on questioning and cannot take “everyone does that” as an answer. Oh, there is a type there too. The Einstein type. Questioning everything, destined for greatness. Great, he is not and greatness is not his aspiration either.
Save for this abnormality he is perfectly normal. It’s an extremely tricky grey zone. There are no established case studies here. There is no way of knowing the result. What choice does he have then but to lose his grip on fear as he gets numbed by this uncertain wait?
He slips in the nadirs with darkness swallowing him quickly. And then comes this thought. This small thought that lights up everything. What if he questions the importance of result itself and refuse to take “everyone does that” for an answer. Can he really do that? Is he even allowed?
He does not know. But he follows it anyway. Maybe the thought will lift him up to new heights or maybe it will burst soon throwing him into even deeper darkness. But he is not waiting for that result anymore. For now, the abnormal man smiles.
No comments:
Post a Comment